Inside the mind of Josh Newby

Cross-Country Extraordinaire

posted December 5, 2008

by Ahna Rao of Viking

Spencer Sims

Junior Josh Newby has completed his third season on the boys' cross-country team, and was a leader on the varsity squad this year. Newby is so devoted to the sport that he has recently acquired some serious stress fractures. But even with all that considered, Newby is the ultimate team player and epitome of a XC stud.

ON HIS APRIL FOOLS' JOKE

So I decided that I would screw with my mom by faking my report card. So I basically recreated the Paly report card; which I still have if anyone's interested for ten bucks. So I made it basically horrible grades, but not so horrible that it is unbelievable, like in the realm of possibility. I put the letters at the bottom 'Parent, please contact teacher', 'Distracting in class' and finally one that corresponded to 'April Fools', so it was executed beautifully. My mom was so mad and worried, like on the verge of tears and so she was like 'Oh My Gosh' and then she looks down at the one of the comments and saw the 'April Fools' and was like, 'Oh Josh!' I filmed it obviously as I left my camera in the corner watching the whole scene play out.

ON "JEFFSPECT"

So basically, freshman and sophomore cross-country and track seasons, I strove to achieve the respect of my father, Jeff Billing. It is like he is my father figure. I would always want his acceptance, so I was always working hard trying to earn his "Jeffspect." Recently, with my improvement in cross-country this season, I maxed out on "Jeffspect," and that's a quote from Jeff Billing. He said, "Josh, I heard about you and Alex and 'Jeffspect' and you just maxed out'. So basically game over. It's the equivalent of him adopting me, which I have always wanted.

ON BEING A LADIES' MAN

Pretty much, I stay away from the ladies in order to keep them from getting too jealous. I don't talk to them really because I don't want anyone getting their feelings hurt. It is quite simple. I can't make any of them feel more special than the other.

ON HIS FLAME-THROWER CAR

So me and my friend Julian built a remote control flame-thrower car which was fun. Of course I filmed this, and during the video I recorded the car burning down a cardboard box with the word "orphanage" written on it. This caused a stir among the YouTube community, and in the end I had to take it out because I guess, in today's society it's not ok to burn down an orphanage. During its prime, I lit things on fire from the safety of my room. I controlled it out my window.

ON HIS LIFE ASPIRATIONS

I've always wanted to be a crossing guard because they get to wield those massive stop signs. You could just flash that bad boy at anyone. Plus what's cooler than a pair of neon pants and a vest? Unfortunately, social etiquette at Paly doesn't permit me to wear such articles of clothing. I definitely would like to do that, and if for some reason I could not fulfill that goal, maybe a toll booth operator.

ON HIS EPIC PRANK

Well, Mr. Sabbag's class was pretty great because we just pulled some epic pranks in that class. One time I brought my universal Mac remote to school and I just messed with his computer all period, just like switching slides around and playing music. He thought his computer was broken and every time he would turn it off, I would just turn it back on, and, like, turn the music up. It was hilarious. This went on for about a week before he caught me. He wasn't too mad. I mean, he was laughing about it, too.